"I took my love and I took it down, I climbed a mountain and I turned around,
And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills, but a landslide brought me down."
Stevie Nicks, Landslide
I began my year devouring God's Word daily, gorging myself and never wanting to stop. I was gluttonous, didn't want to break the reverie of worshiping God to deal with life's mundane interruptions and inconveniences.
I have an avatar I often use because it demonstrates my heart, how my stormy soul clings to the cross that bore my sins. Looking at the picture I suddenly see what's really happening in my spirit. It's not my Lord I cling to but the past he took from me bearing my sins in His act of final sacrifice. God forgive me!I took His love, and I took it down. I climbed the mountain alone and saw I'd left Him behind so I turned around. I could see my reflection in the snow covered hills, like the purity of my Savior whom I so longed to emulate. And the landslide of my own deficiency brought me down, safely into His arms.
My sister died and I didn't have answers. Now my brother has been diagnosed with an incurable (but not untreatable) disease that he's not having treated, and my other sister is mentally deranged and physically failing. I'm so confused and angry.
I suppose it's not really God I'm angry at but life itself. What's the point? I keep asking. If all we do is arrive on earth to spend 50 or 100 years struggling and suffering, with a few brief interludes of joy, just what is the point?
As all these things were happening and I was overwhelmed with grief and apathy, I turned away from the Word when I should have been running it to it every day. I have been adrift for some time now.
My dear friends around the globe, may I say to you it doesn't matter what your circumstances are in your little corner of this planet. If you have nothing more than daily rice to eat and are blessed to sleep under a thatched roof, then praise the Lord and stand on His Word. If you toil in the fields and are beaten by merciless masters, praise God and stand on His Word. If you live in a mansion with many servants but feel utterly unfulfilled, praise with the Holy Spirit and stand on His Word. For by His Word we are nourished in the Spirit, by His Word we are protected, by His word we are promised a place in His glorious Kingdom and a share of His inheritance, a place where material things will have no value and Love for God is our sole desire. And we shall walk forever with Jesus.
Today, I obeyed the call of Jesus to return to my Bible and nibble quietly, savoring every little morsel of His Word. I read Mark 11:1-11 and then just sat there with nothing. Speak to me God! I need to hear You! What does this mean for me?
Jesus' followers heard and obeyed. They brought the colt, dressed it with their own clothes, laid a "carpet" before Him and honored Him as a new King. Jesus is telling me, "don't ask, just obey."
Today, I choose to walk with Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit.
With all my love,
anne
